Social Media, memes, selfies and babies … oh, my!

I’ve not been as social on Facebook as I normally was. I used to be on it non-stop, using it as my stage for “stand-up” comedy. Folks told me I’d they would look forward to my posts, to take a line from a Billy Joel song, “to forget about life for a while.” 

OK, I quoted that lyric on my own, no one actually told me that, but I know what they meant. 

Over the months, I’m not sure how long it has been or when it started, but 2014 has seen less and less posts from me on Facebook. Maybe I became bored. Perhaps it’s the special someone who walking into my life and takes most of my thoughts and time. 

Whatever the case, I stopped posting so much on social media. For a lot of reasons, really. 

One reason I couldn’t stand Facebook anymore were the memes. Don’t get me wrong, I still check my feed regularly, I just have a tendency NOT to reply to those. I figured if you can’t say something for yourself (barring the cleaver memes out there), why post 10 memes in a row? Let’s limit it to one meme every four hours, eh? I’m related to one of these serial memers, and it’s not fun.

Selfies. Selfies don’t necessarily bug me, because they can be cute. The photobombs are the best. But please, please don’t post the same selfie daily for, say, the last two years. Same pose, same look from your driver’s seat, same gagging reflex from me. Change it up, why don’tcha? 

I have a Facebook “friend” I went to high school with whose timeline photo logs look like an Andy Warhol Campbell Soup Can artwork. 

Oh, and the constant pictures of your kids… why? We all know you have kids because you show us every day. Here’s my kid, Day 1…here’s little Timmy Day 867… We know you’re proud of them, and it’s understandable. But daily updates? 

Stop, please, just stop. 

I remember when Facebook connected people to each other. You’d find that friend in third grade who was so close to you you’d share undies (I did it once), and relive those moments and maybe even plan to reunite somewhere. 

It wasn’t a place to air dirty laundry, or practice politics, or share information from websites that have completely invented information and is passed on as gospel. Facebook is dumbing people more and more. Dumber for believing those ridiculous pictures of some parasite that looks like seedlings (they were), or the #TBT (Throw Back Thursday)… OK, I like those, but you catch my drift. 

And the grammer, oy! The punctuation! Doh!

“R U goin 2 werk”

“I really hope I don’t become a bitter old women…. because if I do I will just kill myself I wouldn’t ever wanna put someone though that…”

– End of rant –

 
 
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So, yeah, I’m leaving Texas…

I had this thought months ago where I was pretty sure I was bolting from the 100-plus degree summers in Texas for the mid-60s temperatures of the Central Coast in California. I mused that, since folks love lists these days, maybe I’ll compare and contrast the two states, their people, the food (I have already developed a stereotype on this one), trends and such. 

At the time it seemed brilliant. Like, I was going to be an internet star. I was going to go viral!

I’d have book publishers clamoring for me to wax poetic about the things that folks on the internets go gaga over. Food. Culture. Pop. Sports. … Lady GaGa… Whatever…

(Yes, I meant to type internets).

Of course, I wasn’t in California at the time, so I couldn’t really pen anything until I had first-person knowledge of what them crazy Californians do. OK, I don’t know if they’re crazy, that’s me editorializing on citizens of that state whom I haven’t  even met yet. (Although I did meet a good friend whom I consider family Diana Arroyo, and she’s a nut.)

But what I thought I’d do in trying to work my way up there is perhaps make a list of some of the aspects of Texas, and specifically South Texas, I will miss. 

I don’t think I’m ready to do so at this moment, I mean, I could start off with the food (there’s Tex-Mex and then everything else), the proximity to Mexico (there’s even better tacos there, and the beer is cheap!), the relatively short drive (Texas-wise anyway) to South Padre Island, the price of gasoline (I pumped the other day for $3.11 a gallon), buying pirated recently released movies (and sometimes unreleased ones, too … Wait, did I say that?) at the flea markets (referred to as pulgas here, which translates to “flea” for you non-Spanish speakers).

Don’t get me started on Texas high school football. I played it. I lived it. I love it. 

OK, so I suppose I do have a list to act as a springboard. Still, it’s an idea that has been in the waiting for a while, so I hope I make it good.

In the meantime, I’ll figure out other things to fill what little time I have left in the Lone Star State. I never leave the apartment, so I don’t know what that could be. 

I’m really keeping you guys on the edge of your seats, huh?